On Being a Yes-Man

BY JULIE CHEN

I was quite the fearless kid. When I was five I parachuted off a cliff to the horror of my onlooking parents. I’ve also been known for diving off a 3 meter springboard merely a few hours after I learned how to swim and for attempting to approach an indiscriminate variety of animals, including guard dogs and and hippos (now that I think of it, I could have died many times). As I entered school I channeled my grit into public speaking, theatre and sports, where I was often seen shamelessly prancing around on stage and trying to wrench balls away from boys. I liked to talk and I liked to lead and if I sound like I was the annoying kid who was first in line for everything, I was.

But as I grew older society rubbed off on me. I learned to think before I leapt, and I learned to always double check - sometimes triple and quadruple check. I learned that sometimes silence spoke louder than words, and to ‘reflect and analyze’ every action - which I did, sometimes overly so. I learned that you could never be too careful, and to stop burning your bridges. I learned to color within the lines, and that sometimes it doesn’t hurt to say no.

In some ways or another we all grow up to be haunted by these maxims. They tell us to be careful, to find comfort through security, and to always be aware of potential disaster. And I wasn’t any different. As I grew older I became wearier of my surrounding and the opportunities I was receiving. I was more cautious of what I was saying ‘yes’ to and I became more self-conscious of my actions. Sometimes I would feel the urge to just say ‘no’ and resort to curling into a ball instead of putting myself in precarious positions of failure and humiliation. The truth was, I was no longer a young kid who had nothing to lose. I was trudging deeper and deeper into the swamps of doubts and anxieties that so often plague the minds of adolescents and adults alike.

That is, until I realized all this negativity was totally unnecessary.

As I’ve explained, I am by nature a relatively confident person. But it doesn’t matter whether you are somebody like me, or somebody completely different who suffers from anxiety disorder or depression. We all experience some degree of fear when it comes to stepping our of our comfort zone at sometime or other in our lives, and at this point what we have to do is to realize how ridiculous our fears can sometimes be.

Sometimes it’s not saying ‘no’ that doesn't hurt, its saying ‘yes’!

Too often we turn away potential opportunities for change because ‘no’ is the easier way out. And because of this we miss the adventures and the times of our lives. Of course, we never find out what could have been - and that’s precisely our loss. After all, it’s up to us whether we choose to live life to the max. Like Louise Hay once said, life says yes to those who give it the chance, and that’s why I'm putting it out there today that we should all try to be the yes-man as much as possible.

I’m not talking about the stereotypical yes man who agrees to every silly request. In that case you'd be becoming more of a simpleton instead of somebody who is embracing the opportunities of life. Being a yes-man means saying yes to the things that would normally catch you off-guard. Do the things that you thought were too challenging to handle and meet the people you thought were too scary to meet. It is aiming to not make excuses when it would deprive you of a potentially amazing experience - because what could potentially be awful leaves that extra 50% chance of being wonderful. And really, what’s the worst that could happen? No matter on what end of the spectrum your fresh experience turns out to be, if you’re lucky enough to have an extreme outcome at all it will definitely be something to remember (or something to laugh about) when you’re sitting in a rocking chair. And if it doesn’t end up extreme - then what’s to fear?

By becoming a yes man, you are opening yourself up to all things new and interesting. Ignore those little doubts in your head and make the most out of your life. Celebrate the spontaneity and changes that would normally make you groan. Challenge yourself to parachute off that cliff or run for class president or learn that new instrument and attend that festival. Be positive and say yes, because positivity attracts positivity.

I shudder to think of what memories I would have lost and how much less I would have learned had I given into my temptations of saying no at those critical times in my life. So challenge yourself to be a yes man for a day or a week, no matter how uncomfortable you are with it. If you’ve been hanging around the ‘no pole’ a lot lately, your decision could be a life changing one.

And don’t be afraid of failure. Our dignities sell for so little anyways.