I used to wonder if confidence is earned throughout one’s life, much like collecting boy scout badges. Theoretically, we would be born with none of this precious material, but with every achievement we accomplish we would earn a shining badge of approval. Over time, you’d be able to look down and see those badges and feel good about yourself. And that good feeling would be confidence. Hopefully, like a soldier with his honors pinned to his chest, people would learn to show you respect.
But now that I think of it, there's an immense amount of flaws present in this theory.
For one thing, you’re probably going to need to be perpetually proving yourself, since only certain people would witness you earning certain badgers. To strangers, your splendid collection would be invisible. Obviously, you are not going to be able to accomplish an applause-worthy achievement every time you meet someone new, as opportunities to shine come limited to everybody. That's an awful lot of stress to bear during human interaction.
People always say, “you’ve got to pick out the positive things about yourself and take pride in them,” but in a way that’s just like trying to elicit confidence from a badge. All the happiness that comes from material possessions is temporary. Think of eating a cupcake for comfort, or looking at a wad of bills for solace. In the same way, we can’t keep drawing strength from how we’ve performed in the past because it can never be interwoven with our spirit. It's also in human nature to degrade oneself. If you go ask a girl on a magazine cover whether she thinks she’s as pretty as a girl on a magazine cover, she's probably going to say no. Similarly, we'll never think our badges are shiny enough or that we've earned enough at all. That's the way we function – we think we are never good enough, and that’s why we stumble through life with all these insatiable desires. Just the same, you’re never going to feel confident enough if you’re always looking for a reason to justify it.
Therefore, perhaps it is wrong to feel confident for a reason. I think the way to go is to believe in yourself even if, nicely put, there’s not much to believe in. As a society we tend to spurn individuals who have delusional confidence in their abilities, but the truth is, people like this live lives with so much more positivity. In fact, you could consider them blessed, because feeling confident for no reason is definitely not an easy thing to do. We might feel guilty or arrogant at first, but we simply have to stop thinking about it that way. I mean, just how inhumane does it sound to let somebody justify their belief in their own potential? Although over-achieving is definitely not a bad thing (and in fact, should be striven for), confidence should be a kind of self-love that does not need to rely on any type of fuel. It should be a conviction that cannot be put into words. And that's how you'll feel permanently empowered.
No comments:
Post a Comment