On Being Alone

BY JULIE CHEN

"I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude."-Henry David Thoreau 
 
These days, being alone and introverted has such a negative connotation.

We see somebody sitting alone at a restaurant and we feel pity. Or we see a kid kicking a ball around by himself and we automatically think he’s being excluded. People who want to stay single get bad reps of being somehow disordered or deficient.

In fear of seeming unpopular or reclusive, we obsess over being with a group or another human everywhere we go. We are so afraid, in fact, that we no longer care whether our company is good company anymore. Our company could be the most annoying windbag or the rudest scamp. We are so afraid of the idea of being alone that when we actually do find ourselves alone, we find that it’s not so bad at all.

Solitude let’s us discover so much more about ourselves. We can assess our thoughts more clearly and become more aware of our consciousness. In fact, it’s the only time we get to live life according to our own rhythm, and in a sense it’s an indulgence that is so overlooked. It’s a sense of freedom that’s distinctly unique.

You learn that time spent bumbling away with a mediocre group of friends could be spent so much more productively trying to communicate with yourself instead - to develop your hobbies, to hone your creativity, to define your goals, your desires, and to travel and measure the infinite potential that resides within you and you alone. And if all else fails, go outside and simply stand and breathe. Acknowledge your own presence. We are so often preoccupied with pleasing others and being sociable that we lose ourselves in the crowd.

Slowly but surely, gradually wean off the comfort of ambient chatter and learn that you can be your own best buddy. Engage yourself in a conversation and connect with the true you, stripped of the mask that you so often wear around others. And when we realize that our own company is so sacred, we’ll be more meticulous when it comes to choosing our friends and relationships.

And your friends will thank you too, because who likes hanging around somebody who doesn’t like hanging out with themselves?

Why You Should Get Over Yourself

BY JULIE CHEN

Last week our theatre class put on a school wide production of Dr. Seuss’ Oh the Places You’ll Go! as sort of a closing ceremony for the school year. Of course, any story mildly related to Dr. Seuss calls for ridiculous clothing, and let’s just say that our drama teacher wasted no time in helping us pick out hideous neon onesies. All of our lighthearted complaining was cute until one guy said he was not going to perform because the onesie was putting his dignity at stake. He wasn’t kidding.

I silently laughed in my head because it wasn’t until then I realized how pointlessly self-conscious we are about so many foolish things. And who can blame my classmate? Think of all the times you were really self-conscious about a huge pimple, or eating loud chips, or tripping over a word during a presentation only to find out later that nobody had even noticed. We carry our egos so high above our heads we tend to forget that there is not a perpetual spotlight shining upon us. In fact, everyone is usually so busy minding his or her own business it’s impressive that we can pay attention during human interaction at all, let alone take the time to notice each and every detail about each other.

Whenever you are feeling extremely self-conscious, just try recalling what your best friend was wearing yesterday. I assure you you’ll probably have a hard time, and it's not because you are not a good friend. The point is, take comfort in the fact that nobody really makes the effort to sweat the small stuff. If you can’t help feeling embarrassed, give your emotions some space and mentally move on. Convert all that unnecessary insecurity and negativity into paying attention to the next person you come across and hey, you just might notice how pointlessly self-conscious they are about the small things too.

Instability

BY JULIE CHEN

Through broken fragments of
Stained rose glass
Pupils see dawn breaking. Light
Spills onto miles of ho-hum grass
and malaise unfurls, heavy

Upon the heart. Feet walk
On soles frayed. Treading
With malcontent strides, breaths
perfume the oft traveled road

With sighs of longing. The item
Of desire is a change in course. With
A heart dip fluttering, pain pulsate,
the hand clutches the roadside
railing,

Which trembles. Feet, torpid from
Treading forward, pause. The flow
Of time ruptures as swift
movement shatters patterned
routine.

Body topples through air and falls,
limbs swift swaying. Wind mutes
all emotion. Fear precipitates as
spirits rise. A change is a change, despite
inevitable death.