On Being Alone

BY JULIE CHEN

"I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude."-Henry David Thoreau 
 
These days, being alone and introverted has such a negative connotation.

We see somebody sitting alone at a restaurant and we feel pity. Or we see a kid kicking a ball around by himself and we automatically think he’s being excluded. People who want to stay single get bad reps of being somehow disordered or deficient.

In fear of seeming unpopular or reclusive, we obsess over being with a group or another human everywhere we go. We are so afraid, in fact, that we no longer care whether our company is good company anymore. Our company could be the most annoying windbag or the rudest scamp. We are so afraid of the idea of being alone that when we actually do find ourselves alone, we find that it’s not so bad at all.

Solitude let’s us discover so much more about ourselves. We can assess our thoughts more clearly and become more aware of our consciousness. In fact, it’s the only time we get to live life according to our own rhythm, and in a sense it’s an indulgence that is so overlooked. It’s a sense of freedom that’s distinctly unique.

You learn that time spent bumbling away with a mediocre group of friends could be spent so much more productively trying to communicate with yourself instead - to develop your hobbies, to hone your creativity, to define your goals, your desires, and to travel and measure the infinite potential that resides within you and you alone. And if all else fails, go outside and simply stand and breathe. Acknowledge your own presence. We are so often preoccupied with pleasing others and being sociable that we lose ourselves in the crowd.

Slowly but surely, gradually wean off the comfort of ambient chatter and learn that you can be your own best buddy. Engage yourself in a conversation and connect with the true you, stripped of the mask that you so often wear around others. And when we realize that our own company is so sacred, we’ll be more meticulous when it comes to choosing our friends and relationships.

And your friends will thank you too, because who likes hanging around somebody who doesn’t like hanging out with themselves?