Colorblind

BY JULIE CHEN

Here is what I know about myself:

I am very pale.

So pale that I have grown to fear

Flash photography, because it

Makes me appear an incandescent lightbulb
glittering

I am chronically impatient. I refuse to wait for anything that can be hastened

I am very receptive to change.

Hobbies, clothing, people,

Sometimes I go out of my way for something new.

Even when the old fit perfectly 

Some days I think I am too old for my age.

Swimming amongst the fragmented pieces of philosophy and wisdom

I hoard in my head is tiring.

Mostly, I commit acts of naivety 
which subject me to burning cheeks and

my face in my hands.
I pass the seconds by melting into my own bellybutton

I am terrified of being caught off guard.

My English professor once said that 

people who have this fear often dream of being naked.

Well, I’ve never had this dream
But I am terrified

I have also been chronically leery, ever since you’ve turned your back.

I am leery of human emotions.

They are such fickle things: happiness, sadness,

Joy

Jealousy

Love

Hate

All but transient outbursts of the flimsy mind—

And in my naivety, I had believed that these were all genuine

All the time.

Here is what I know for sure:

I used to see everything through rosy glass.

But your last words shattered windows, and I am no longer colorblind.